Of Marriage and Randomness
by Brendan Yuuki
Summary: First story in a long time. Ethan proposes, Brendan gets pissed off. Unusual M/M, eyewearshipping or something like you kiddos use for it nowdays.


**This is the first fanfic I have ever written in English. So, I would really appreciate some feedback about that; I might have committed quite a few mistakes, despite a bit of grammar help form Word and Google. And I have used a lot of foul language in this, nothing that you haven't read before, but the warning still counts.**

**And this is, above all, an experiment and quite a short one at that. I'm not really sure about start writing fanfiction again, even though I have a few ideas about other stories. Please enjoy.**

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It happened out of nowhere, during Kamon and Lyra engagement party.

- Say, have you ever thought about us getting married?

Brendan spitted his sprite half a mile away. Thankfully, not anywhere near Ethan. The Johto trainer was easily offended by getting spitted at.

- What!?

- Well, we kinda see each other a lot already, don't we? Besides, my mom kinda gave me an ultimatum. Something in the lines of "You aren't getting any younger, ya know?" and "When you find a fine piece of dick like that, you shouldn't let go, even if your dead grandma says so." and "I need grandchildren. And some new rugs. And drapes, or some shit." and "I'm not getting younger either." and then she started crying and puking and whatever. I think she was kinda drunk.

The Hoenn trainer didn't know what to think. Probably, he should be thinking something in the lines of "Ethan's pissed drunk" or "A fine piece of what!?". Yes, that would be appropriated.

But, unfortunately, that wouldn't be the case.

- … not really.

Ethan pouted a bit at the bluntness.

- Reeeeeally? What, am I not hot enough for mister champion and grand-master-coordinator? Am I…

At the sight of Brendan lifting his hands in a clear gesture to make him stop talking, Ethan closed his mouth.

- Dude, chill. What the hell are you saying, you're not even gay. Besides, you're drunk as dicks. And stop making a scene.

- Am not.

- … I'm not gonna say "Are too".

- You just said it. Am not.

Brendan sighed.

- Fine, fine. Just for the record, are we agreeing that you're making a scene, agreeing that you're drunk or just that you're freaking gay?

- All of the above. – said Ethan snickering – Actually, I'm not that drunk, just had a couple more than I should and I thought that it would be nice to share a few impressions of my mother, God bless her, with you to see how scandalized you would get. Making a scene is kinda subjective, so, fuck it. And I'm bi, ergo: I could marry a guy without remorse.

- Whoa. So your mother thinks I'm – you said it and I quote – "a fine piece of dick"? – Brendan smirked.

- Don't change the subject, dick. – said Ethan lightly punching Brendan in the shoulder – You shouldn't think that way about your in-laws. Especially my mom.

- Well, and what is the subject, ass? – Answered Brendan throwing a punch slightly stronger – You being so pissed drunk that you're making a fool out of yourself?

- Me and you getting married next spring.

- … Dude, this is getting repetitive. Either you stop or I'm gonna call out Gardevoir and check if you are intoxicated or hypnotized. She always wanted to mind rape you, I kid you not.

Ethan stopped dead on his tracks. There weren't a lot of things that could stop him once he started his jokes, and one of them was being threatened with Brendan's Pokémons.

- Ouch. That's harsh, man. Talk about killing the mood.

Not dead enough, one would assume.

- … You want me to call out Aggron?

Apparently, "Aggron" was some sort of codename for "natural-disaster-rapist-serial-killer-goddamn-ars onist-with-sharp-blades-blame-the-government-and-t heir-mother". Because, suddenly, Ethan appeared to have an Articuno shoved inside his shirt. Or something else that could cause shivering and cold-sweating, like fear of being stomped to death.

- Ok, ok. That's a low blow and you know it.

- And proposing out of the fucking blue isn't a low blow in your book? Really, what in your goddamn mind did give you the idea? Do you even know what a marriage is about?

- We could always find it out together, haha. Our kids will be _so beautiful_.

Brendan's eyebrow twitched. And then he reached for Aggron's pokéball.

Moments later, in the ensuing mayhem and utter chaos, Brendan had a few things to think about:

He was going to have to apologize to Kamon and Lyra in the next morning, after all, he kinda wrecked their engagement party. And for Lyra's knocked out Tyranitar;

The ring that Ethan slipped on his finger didn't matched his eyes at all;

He did remember teaching Aggron Head Smash, however, he didn't had a fucking clue that his Pokémon had learned Dragon Dance and liked to use it so much;

Thank Arceus that Ethan was adamant on wearing the dress, he would look like a motherfucking clown;

The kiss, especially the little bit with tongue at the end, was worth the lawsuit that Kamon was promising him for owning a Aggron that thought that the newly engaged Lyra looked far better with Green then with the redhead and was trying to make the two of them kiss under a wrecked gazebo or some shit;

And finally, that he was in really big clusterfuck for promising to find four shiny Rapidashes to pull Ethan's carriage if the groping could continue at the hotel he was staying.

All was well.

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**Review? In my time we used to offer cookies for them, but nowdays... Tea and cookies, perhaps? **


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